Bike bonk bloke cops three years' probation
Robert Stewart was caught with his bike in flagrante and trying to thrust into it. Why, we have no idea. But he's gotten three years probation and will go to prison if he does it again (and gets caught).
I don't pretend to know or even want to know which wires got crossed in this dude's effed up brain. But I hope he didn't try to pedal his girlfriend to work. Oh wait, what am I saying, he obviously does not have a girlfriend since he's a deviant nutter.